I met Michelle Lloyd about 10 years ago, on a site in Girvan. It was the site warden , Brian Cain who introduced us he was a great site manager, he organised activities for the children, and even got a play bus to come on three times a week. When he brought Michelle in to see me I thought she was great, we keep in touch all the time. When anything is coming up she always phones me or the girls to ask if they want to go on a weekend trip, or she asks me to go and help out. Went to Arran one year with Michelle, it was good for traveling kids as they are wary to open up to people due to how they were treated in there past. I have lived all over, Scotland, England, Ireland and Wales. Why dose people hate you for wanting to travel, and live in a trailer? My father was born in a wagon at the side of the road in Hurelford Ayrshire. My great grandfather was the private piper to the Duke of Atoll. My grandfather was a great piper to. My uncle is Scotlands ace accordionist. My aunty plays guitar and sings. So we are not all dirty stupid Gypsies. People should know a person before passing judgment. I would like to take you back to when I was seven years old, my family and I were staying in England, mum and dad and my older sister were working in the fields picking potatoes and weeding, they also worked at night in sheds dressing this is when you sort out the broke from the good. My parents could put there hand to anything. We never went without, when mum and dad went to work my big sister put me and my brother to school then she would walk the short distance to the field with my big brother and work along side them. We would do this until the work finished, then we would move on to another place, where my dad would go hawking. He would go round the doors asking if there were any job’s needing done, and he would always come home with money and something for his barnes. We would winter anywhere he could make his living, so it would be Scotland or England even Wales one year. We went to pick potatoes and ended up staying for a few months. My brothers and sister liked to stay beside other travellers because we had company and someone to play with. I remember one year we went to a place called Wallop High Way, in Wisbeach England. It was great, we went to school and mum worked in shed’s with the other women of the camp. Dad would do his work. We did this for a few years, it was some of the best years of my life. The Christmases we had there were the best. My granny and granddad were there and my uncles and aunties. I remember the summers were the hottest I ever remember, the tar on the road would blister under our shoes and my dad would call me his wee black crow as I went dark brown with the sun. One year we went daffodil picking, when we were ready to come home I would take some bunches, and after my tea I would take them down to the village and sell them. dad said could sell fridges to Eskimos if I could. As I got older, about fourteen we moved back to Scotland, I went to Dundee with my mum and dad I saw a place that made calendars, I asked my dad for some money, and bought a box. That night I went out round the doors, and sold half the box my mum couldn't get over it I was of again just like the daffodils. If I thought I could sell it I would try. My sister on the other hand was different she always thought she was better than the rest of us, always saying this is a primitive way to live cant we get a house for the winter this year, so when I was the grand age of fifteen we bought a we house in a place called Kirriemuir in Angus Scotland. We were there for about a year when my sister started courting , a boy from Perth, before long they were getting married, soon after she gave birth to a wee girl. We stayed in the house all winter and left it in the summer, one year my mum said to my dad I cant take this any longer we have to sell this house before any more of the barnes get married off. So dad sold the house within a month and he bought a trailer. We pulled on to my uncles caravan site in Carsie Blairgowrie. We were on the site for about three months, I can remember saying to a pall of mine, nothing ever happens on this site, little did I know what was going to happen next my pall Mandy was from England, they pulled on the site for the winter and we hit it off as soon as we met, one day my uncle who owned the site was telling my dad some travellers from Lanarkshire was pulling on , me and Mandy used to get all our chores done then we would go into her dads van and play with the c.b . We were messing about when Mandy said to me look, theirs more trailers pulling on, there were three lots of them, I can remember her saying to me he looks nice, looking at a young man in a transit van I replied your mad he’s ugly, so in the weeks to come she was besotted with this man. One day we were in the toilet block when two lassies walked in, it turned out to be the sisters of this man Mandy was falling for. They asked what we done at weekends, and I said, well we pick berries all week and go with our earnings to the town, and buy new clothes, and other things we started talking every day. They asked me in one night for a crack and that's when I saw him face to face, Winkie, there brother , the one Mandy had fell for. Every day after that we would chat, me and the girls, on one occasion they were all going to Clooney Loch for a swim, they stopped at my trailer to ask if I wanted to go with them but my father was very strict he said you are going no where so that was that . But as time went on we went to each others trailers every night for our wee chats. That's when it all started, we were sitting bored when Winkie said im fed up im going for a pint who wants to come, the lassies said I we will, so I asked mum if I could go, she said yes but don't be late, and that's when me and Winkie started to go out. We went to the pub, had a few games of pool and it was time to go home. Winkie said to my brother Benny do you want to walk home, me you and Annie and Patsy, so he asked me if I wanted to, but I didn't want to be late because my mother would have gave me a mouthful in front of everyone. But he said it will be o.k. your with me, so we walked all the way back to Carsie in the poring rain. We chatted and laughs. The next day we all went to the berries and had really good fun. Winkie asked me to go out with him and it went on from there. But work fast getting scarce so they decided to shift. I was upset when I heard this but I couldn't stop him. They moved two days later but on there way of the site he asked me for my aunties phone number, and he called me every night, and came to see me three times a week. Mum said to my dad that lassies getting serious with that lady, well to cut a long story short the month was august and we were married in march the same year. I was seventeen he was twenty four. We got our own trailer and moved to Wishaw Lanarkshire. That was the most heart breaking thing I have ever done, leaving my family. We had nothing, my savings consisted of six pounds, he had nothing as he spent it the night before getting drunk we got up the next morning and packed our wedding presents in the van he bought three days before the wedding. We then went to the site to hook on the trailer. I went to tell my mum and dad that we were getting ready to leave and my poor mother burst out in tears. I have your hair dryer she said, and you better check incase you’ve left anything else. Well I just burst out in tears. I said I don't want to go. Dad said your married now, you have to go where your man goes. Little did they know what I was about to suffer in the next eleven years I was married to Winkie. We left and arrived at a place called Wishaw, it was a disused garage, there were four other lots of travellers, one couple were Mary and John, she was Winkie’s brothers sister-in-law, a very nice woman, she made me feel just like Rose, my sister-in-law, Rose was married to Winkie’s brother Jimmy they were a nice couple and would help us out when ever we needed it. As time went on I got fed up with Wishaw, as I didn't have any of my family or friends around. I couldn't drive or couldn’t get a bus as we never had money to waste on such things. I felt like a prisoner half the time. I wanted to go home to my own environment. I remembered my dad’s words, your married you go where your man goes. I cryed myself to sleep at night, not knowing what was instore the next day. One fine Friday morning I went out to do a washing and I heard a roar of an engine I looked up and saw my dads van and trailer pulling on to the camp. My heart gave a burst of emotion and ran towards them. I helped them get settled in a nice spot next to me and me and mum went to the shops. I felt like I was still at home, me and mum shopping talking doing things that we always done. When we got back he was in a bad mood, I could tell but I wasn't bothered, I had my mum right next to me. The following day dad and my brother were going out hawking, but Winkie was in his bed as usual, I was outside doing a washing but I had no washing powder so I was trying to wash with soap, my mum came to ask if I wanted to go to the shops and I had to say no because I had no money. She said to me if you have no money how are you livelong then, and I had to tell her. He hasn't been out doing anything. So she waited until dad and my brother came home and told them what was going on. My dad said if you want to, I will give you some money to give you a start. But I was so embarrass that I said no, because I was told in my life that if a man cant keep a woman it is a bad thing. So as time went on, and not so long as I might ad. I told Winkie if he couldn't keep me or a baring then he had to think twice, as I was expecting our first child. He gasped, yes I was pregnant, so we had to sit down and talk big time. He asked me if I was feeling o.k. and I asked him if he had earned any money. Money at that answer he said I will bring in money if that's what your worried about. He was the type to depend on his mother and family, as they always kept him in everything he wanted. I of cource didn't know this at the time went out with him, he seemed so charming and grown up. He swept me off my feet, but you learn by your mistakes. So as I go on with my story I would like to say I have allot to write and would love it if you would stay with me in this story as I go on my life is getting stranger and stranger, he always went to his family when we had no money, one day I gave him an ultimatum, I said I want to move to England beside my family for a while, there was an argument but we moved three days later, we arrived at the site in Earith, dad took him out working, and things were going fine until his mother and sisters came. Winkie started staying in, not going to work. We had more rows than ever, we were there for another two weeks and he said to me I will go back out if you move back to Scotland. So thinking he would I said o k. That was a big mistake. We moved back to Larkhall, and guess what happened, all we did was fight and fight, I couldn’t take much more, so I phoned my mum, told her and said I wanted a divorce. My life was a mess, here I was with four bairns and a man that couldn’t look after me let alone a family, so I thought what do I do next, that was it I made my mind up, I wanted out, my life was a mess and I had to make a drastic decision, so that’s when I left to go to Blairgowrie. My mum and dad said you can stay in our house , my grannie died two weeks before and my mum and dad moved in to grannie’s house to look after Benny, who is my uncle, he is my mum’s brother, and is mentally handicapped. so I said yes please, can I move in as soon as possible, and I did.